Who I Am
by Enthusiastic Fish
Summary: A short character study looking at some moments from Tim's time at NCIS and how his choices put him where he is. Written for the NFA Nepal Charity auction. Oneshot.


**A/N:** Another oneshot for the NFA Nepal Charity auction. This one was inspired by the Harry Potter quote, "It is our choices that determine who we are, far more than our abilities."

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS or its characters and I'm not making money off this story. The recognizable dialogue is the property of the NCIS franchise.

* * *

 **Who I Am  
** by Enthusiastic Fish

Tim looked around. Norfolk. His first day. He was suddenly struck with an attack of nerves.

 _What am I doing here? What in the world was I thinking? I can't be an agent! I was insane to even consider it! No one ever thought I would do something like this. I'm a geek! I'm a computer nerd! I'm not a cop!_

He stood there, freaking out, ready to make a run for it. He'd only made it through FLETC because of Jim Nelson helping him out. Jim wasn't here now. He couldn't bail Tim out when he stumbled. Tim was on his own. He didn't know a single person in Norfolk. He'd never even _been_ to Norfolk before. How could he do this?

"You lost, kid?"

The gruff voice took him by surprise and he spun around. There was an older man staring at him.

"S-Sorry, s-s-sir," Tim said and cursed himself for stammering. He hadn't stammered in _years_. Why now?

"Don't apologize."

Surprised by the injunction, Tim furrowed his brow.

"Why not?"

"It's a sign of weakness."

"No, it isn't," Tim said, feeling almost insulted by the response. He squared his shoulders in a way his dad would have been proud of. "And I'm not lost. I'm a federal agent, sir."

The man smiled a little, looking a little amused, and Tim wondered just what he'd seen before Tim had noticed him.

"And your name?"

"NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee," Tim said, hoping he sounded like someone who deserved respect.

The man's smile changed just slightly, but Tim couldn't tell what it meant.

"Well, Special Agent McGee, welcome to Norfolk."

Then, he walked away. Tim watched him go and wondered what had just happened...but strangely enough, his panic had dissipated. He turned back and headed to his office...or rather, his _closet_ , ready to begin his new job.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

 _Two weeks later..._

Tim felt ill. Really ill. He wondered if he'd throw up and completely embarrass himself in front of the real agents who had come to investigate.

Then, he heard that voice again. That same gruff voice, again, with the same hint of amusement that he'd noticed before.

 _This is Agent Gibbs?_ Tim thought to himself. _But he's supposed to be this legend, and he seemed...normal when I saw him before._

Even so, Tim was intimidated and tried not to draw any attention to the fact that they'd met before. It had been such a brief encounter, and it wasn't like Tim was a memorable person in any way. People saw him and forgot him two seconds later.

It seemed to work, and he spent most of the next couple of days with Tony, anyway. There had only been one moment where Gibbs had got right in his face and Tim had been afraid that he would realize who this green case agent actually was.

Still, there was no acknowledgment, no apparent recognition.

Not until the end of the case. Tim made the effort to go to DC to drop off his report, wanting to show his willingness to go the extra mile (literally) to get work done. That was the only way he could think of to get a promotion.

Then, there it was. Just for a second.

"You graduated from MIT?" Kate asked.

"And Johns Hopkins," Gibbs said.

Tim looked at Tony. Tony shrugged.

"I didn't tell him."

Tim looked back at Gibbs. How could he have known that unless...

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

All through the next few months, every case that got him out in the field was because of Agent Gibbs. At first, it was just that he was pulled into it. Then, as he got a little more daring, he began insinuating himself into the cases where he could, even to the point of crawling around on the floor, setting up a new network for NCIS while the air conditioning was broken. Anything to stay in DC where he wanted to be.

And amazingly, it seemed to work. Suddenly, he was on Gibbs' team without one overt acknowledgment that Gibbs remembered their first meeting.

Tim wanted to ask, but he never dared. Instead, he dove into the work since there was always plenty to go around.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

 _Nine years later..._

Tim sighed a little. After everything that had happened, it was so...anticlimactic. He'd turned down the chance for promotion and no one seemed to care.

Oh, well. He was the one who didn't make sense as an agent anyway. He supposed it made sense that they wouldn't be worked up about his presence or absence.

"Changing your mind, McGee?"

Tim turned around, suppressing a small smile. Gibbs still sounded the same as he had ten years ago.

"About what, Boss?"

"Japan."

"How did you know about it? Vance told me that he wasn't going to tell anyone. It was all my decision."

Gibbs just raised an eyebrow.

"Changing your mind?"

"No. You can't really change your mind when you say no to a promotion anyway. It'll be someone else's by now," Tim said.

"Regrets?"

"Maybe, but not enough to change my mind."

Tim started to turn back, but suddenly, their first meeting came back to him and he had to ask. He just _had_ to. He looked at Gibbs.

"Did you know?"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow again in a silent question.

"That first case when you came to Norfolk. Did you remember who I was?"

Gibbs smiled. "Of course."

"There's no of course about it, Boss. There was no reason for you to remember me, no reason for you to have given any space over to me at all...but I could have sworn that you knew about me later."

"I did."

"Why?"

"Because you impressed me, McGee."

"How? I was even more of the computer geek back then than I am now...and that's saying something. I was green, even for a new agent. I stammered. I probably looked like I was about twelve. There was nothing about me that would stand out...at least, not in a good way."

"Yes, there was."

"What?"

"I didn't care about your skills, McGee. If you passed FLETC, you had what was necessary. Everyone does."

"Then, what did you care about?"

"Your choice."

"My choice? What choice?"

Gibbs took a short breath, as if he was gearing up to make a speech. "The choice to be something other than what you thought you were. Everyone chooses who they are. You could have been a computer guy. You _chose_ to be here. You were doing what you wanted and that meant that you would do a good job."

"Really? I figured you forgot about me as soon as I was out of sight."

Gibbs smiled. "I read your file as soon as I got back to DC."

Tim flushed with unexpected pride at having made that much of an impression when he'd thought he'd made none at all.

"I wanted you here, McGee. ...but it was your choice that got you on my team."

Then, Gibbs went on his way. Tim stood where he was, feeling a little stunned.

"Go home, McGee!" Gibbs called back without turning.

Tim jumped a little and headed for his car. When he got home, he thought about what Gibbs had said and who he had chosen to be. Did he regret that choice?

 _Not one bit,_ Tim thought to himself.

He smiled and went to bed.

FINIS!


End file.
